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The Art of Worrying
by: Ieuan Dolby
I am worried. I have been biting my nails for weeks and now there is not much left (skin doesn't taste very good) on my hands and feet to chew on. I have been bent over the sink retching, I am constantly nauseated with pounding headaches beating out a death march in my skull and yet, life goes on. To say I am worried is placing the situation into a category far above its position – I am sick with worry. I am worried to death and I am sick of being worried about nothing. I am even tired of being worried about being worried about nothing - and I worry about that as well!
Worry comes in many forms and under many guises – call it what you may. Angst, apprehension concern, distress, foreboding, tension, unease, misgivings, fretfulness and nervousness to name but a few of the Uncles, Cousins and Sisters of the large family called Worry. Whatever you call it, all can and will eventually lead to the same result called stress. Stress is a major problem for everyone and is a serious health hazard. Worry gnaws away at the heart and soul: chomps away at skin and bone until it is inside your body and controlling all that you are made of. Worry climbs inside a person's body and takes over in every way imaginable. Worry is a killer – a slow and painful one!
Once worry sets in mental well being is no longer assured and the body physique goes one way only – down hill all the way. All those suffering from worry go through an unhappy period in life, one were the clock stops and the pain takes over, one filled with lack of sleep and restless nights, upset stomachs and brain overload. It gnaws away like a mouse at a piece of cheese, eats away through the heart and soul till it seems as if there is nothing to look forwards to anymore in life. Suicide is an option?
Family and loved ones try to comfort you but even that wears thin after a while, friends stop coming around and those at work offer solicitude to begin with but then shun you. A person that worries is just not fun to be with. A worrier finds he/she spends a lot of time alone or with others who also have their own problems to think about. Those with problems to solve tend to live with their thoughts rather than the world at large!
What causes worry? Worry is caused by a problem - imaginary or otherwise! The problem may be non-existent or minute in nature but it has produced worry. In one person the problem may have been discarded with a blink of the eye yet in another soul the problem may result in a build up of thought – resulting in serious angst.
The peculiar quirk about the average problem is that there is never a feasible answer to it. If here was then what was the point of worrying about it in the first place? Naturally if there is an answer to a problem then it is no longer a problem. Problems that arise and then are quickly solved are not really under discussion at the moment. Here and now we look at problems that are unsolvable in the short term (if at all), problems that have no answer; that are serious in nature (imaginary or otherwise) and are for the long term.
What we have here are problems (again real or imaginary) that cause worry and where no immediate answer is forthcoming, is possible, is financially viable, is suitable, is morally acceptable or whatever. The answer is just not there but the problem is – so we have worry. Anyway, if there is an answer nine times out of ten it will always be the one that was not thought about or the one deemed impossible to implement.
Problems in life that are worth worrying about can be divided into two groups. First comes the problems that are similar to a dull and nagging pain, like that of financial income or rather from a serious lack of it. The lack of money has always been and always will be a dull and nagging pain to many and one that will just not go away. Those that do not have enough money to pay the bills and feed the children, those that struggle every day to carve out a living from the measly income that they generate find there lives constantly restricted and their freedom to do what they would like to do is minimal. Another type of worry is the sharp, striking pain that typically results from loved ones, the pain rising and falling as family and those close provide or take away as if on queue. Other types of worry exist but in general they are a result of either an over active imagination or self generated and fed. Other types of problems from the two basic types above typically have to be taken onboard and accepted and in this way can they be understood or solved and not dissected and built up into a drama.
Worry takes over every moment of every day, ruins happy moments and restricts the capability for one to enjoy life for what it is worth. Not worth much, one could say for the worrier and that is something that has to be sorted out. What causes worry is the problem. The problem enters the mind and a thousand results and outcomes of this problem scramble for priority in the mind. All else is pushed away to the rear whilst these avenues open up, all else becomes trivial and unimportant whilst the brain scrambles to make sense and understand what it has been given. The brain works around the clock whilst millions of branches of the problem vie for attention, those that keep on giving outcomes if the problem is not solved, those that make untenable or impossible suggestions for a possible solution and others that keep on retreating to the past. "Why did this happen, what caused this to happen and why did it happen to me"?
Undoubtedly many problems are life altering; that problems worth worrying about will cause change or upset but it must be noted that whether worry is present or not the problem still exists. Take the worry out of a problem and it will continue to follow the same path, inflict the same amount of damage or create the same amount of havoc should one not worry about it all.
Certain people are more prone to worry than others. Certain people have a certain skill for taking the whole world onto their shoulders, of grasping all others problems and building a lovely mountain of others angst in their head. There are those that take the problems of ecology and world peace into their brains, trying to find an answer for the whole globe. They do admirable work and probably do all the worrying for those of us that don't worry about the way the world turns. They do proud work but they suffer from serious "worryitus". Then there are a certain category of people that worry for others personal problems, those that enter others lives and take up on their personal problems, then taking it home to their own family to worry about without sensible reason.
Others have more cause to worry than they who look for it; where the outcome of the problem in question is life altering or the problem is of the utmost sadness, than could possibly be imagined. Often these problems can go on forever whilst the clock stops ticking and the answers never present themselves. Problems where there is no light at the end of the tunnel and were the slope just keeps on getting steeper and the snow like an ice rink. Problems where loved ones and relatives are involved and the future happiness of a family is at stake!
Certain people in this world are often classified as being uncaring about others. Self centered maybe and not the sort of person that you would turn to for comfort. Others are in the middle somewhere, caring yet keeping and reserving individualism. And at the end we have the worriers, those that take problems onto their shoulders, into their minds and try to make sense of it all. The balance is in the middle, to be compassionate, to be caring and understanding but at the same time able to step away from the problem when nothing can be done about it. Life must go on. The problem is not going to go away, leave it until a
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